The Sign Around My Neck

By DT

We watched the Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days. Her character is an alcoholic who gets sent to a rehab facility for people suffering from many different addictions. When Sandra goes to the cafeteria for her first meal we see that some of the residents have big white signs hanging around their necks. In big black letters they have specific phrases printed on them: "Confront me if I don't ask for help", " Confront me if I people please", etc.

What would the sign around my neck say? What habits prevent me from being open and honest with people? What do I try to keep secret?

A few that come to mind:

Confront me if avoid inconveniencing you.

Confront me if I don't ask for help.

Confront me if I don't share my emotions.

Two things I am reminded of:

1) I am not autonomous. Living well can't be done by myself. Deciding to follow Jesus can be a personal and even private event but the life of a Christian is not. It is public and exposed. If I desire to grow in faith, hope, and love I need more than a desire to do so. My sins can't be worked out on my own in the comfort of my own mind. Other people must be involved in the process of confessing and making things right.

2) Many habits come out of my desire to put myself in control. If I don't ask for help it's because I assume I have whatever it takes to get the job done - I don't need you and I won't put myself in a position to be indebted to you. If I avoid inconveniencing you it's because I'm trying to control the situation so there are no uncomfortable moments.

Working at Lifehouse we learned that developing authentic relationships requires us to be authentic ourselves. But what is authentic? It seems to be a popular word right now both in advertising and spirituality. I think it has to do with being honest and genuine even if it costs us something. You can never really know me unless you know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can hide or downplay my weaknesses but I end up offering you something that is not truly me. It takes a lot of energy to allow you only to see the good side. To share myself authentically requires me to let go of my desire to control.

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The Moment of Saying Goodbye

By DT
We have been busy the last month. I forget how much goes into the moving process. There's the collecting of boxes, arranging the moving truck, taking down pictures, tripping over boxes in the night, finding a dollar behind the fridge, and saying goodbye. Katie and I have moved a lot in our six years of marriage and each time the process surprises me again. Each time we begin the moving process I think I have it all figured out - I can anticipate what it will look like and what I will feel. Each time, though, I am surprised by what I find.

We have begun our goodbyes in Portland and last night was our huge goodbye party. Long time friends and new friends showed up. From 1:30pm until 11:30pm we celebrated as people walked through the door. Each of us carries memories and stories but we often forget that others have memories that overlap and inform our own. As people walked through our door I remembered the good and bad from our four years in Portland. As we reminisced, our stories overlapped. People remembered things that I had not. We experienced many events together but the memories became fuller and richer as we mingled them together in conversation. What emerged was a picture of God present in a community of people.

And then the moment of goodbye as we walked people to the door. There is something profound about saying goodbye to people. The reality of the world creeps in as we realize together that time is not fair. Like death, we must face the limitations imposed on us. Unlike death, though, we can walk away from the goodbyes with our lives changed and with the hope of future interactions. That moment usually has the ability to push us to say what we have always wanted to say.

But I hate saying goodbye. I wrestle for a long time with the decision of leaving and moving on. I analyze, I seek advice, I spend hours thinking and writing. Katie likes getting things done quickly but I have to spend time pondering. When I make the decision it is a big moment for me. It feels like an accomplishment. A switch is flipped in my brain and I go into moving mode. I know I will have to say goodbye but the moving process takes a lot of focus. When the moment of goodbye approaches the moving mode is stopped and I am confronted with the reality of leaving the people we love. I am reminded of the value and significance of relationships. In a world obsessed with individual needs it is good for me to be reminded that to survive and thrive I desperately need friends and relationships.

Thanks to all of you who have made time in your schedules to say goodbye to us. Leaving Portland is really hard for us. We have not yet left but already the tears are flowing. Already we are seeing how God has used relationships to change your lives and ours over the last four years.

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Being Killed By The Internet

By DT
I found an article about 50 things that are being killed by the internet (I posted the link at the bottom). The list reminds me that technology can benefit my life but it can also destroy it or make it more complicated. I think it's wrong to assume that technological advances are always good. And I think it's equally wrong to assume that technology will make our lives better.

Here are some of the items that stuck out to me:

3) Listening to an album all the way through.
Now that we can easily download singles (often weeks before the entire album is released), I find that I rarely listen to an album. Shuffle is now my listening preference. Not buying entire albums may be a good thing for the music industry. It might force musicians to work harder to create quality songs since the money will be made off of singles.

5) Punctuality.
Before celphones and texting, it was rude to show up late to meetings and get togethers. Now we can text people to inform them of our excuses for running late. But is that any less rude? There seems to be a lot less face-to-face confession of lateness. I like to be on time not because of my perfectionism but as a way of showing that I value my relationships. Time is one of the few commodities that I can give people and showing up on time shows that I value our time together.

13) Memory and 15) Photo albums and slide shows.
When I was a kid my family took lots of pictures but not to the extent that people do now. My parents have boxes of photos from my childhood but the pictures numbers in the low hundreds not the thousands that I already have of my girls. Digital photography is creating huge, visual repositories of our past. I wonder how this will affect memory? I don't have many memories from childhood. Most are associated with photos I have seen. Now that my girls have thousands of pictures of their childhood, will they remember more? Kodak recently announced that it was discontinuing its Kodachrome slide film because there is very little demand for it. Our slide shows now take place on flat screen monitors.

17) Watching television together.
We can watch TV and movies whenever and wherever we want. I used to watch The X-Files every Friday night. I often watched with friends because the suspense was better that way. I think Seinfeld was much more funny when watched in groups. For the longest time my family had only one TV. There is something unique about watching together. I think this is why going to the movies continues to be popular despite the advances of home theater technology.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/6133903/50-things-that-are-being-killed-by-the-internet.html


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Journey

What The College Freshmen Know

Each August since 1988, Beloit College has released the Beloit College Mindset List. It is a list of observations that help to identify the experiences that have shaped the lives—and formed the mindset—of students starting college this fall.

“The Mindset List is not a chronological listing of things that happened in 1991, the year they were born. It is instead an effort to identify the worldview of 18 year-olds in the fall of 2009. Of course, our students come from many backgrounds and different traditions and these generalizations may not apply to all. The list identifies the experiences and event horizons of students and is not meant to reflect on their preparatory education.”

It looks at what they know - or don’t know.

Here’s a few items from the list:
- They have never used a card catalog to find a book.
- Salsa has always outsold ketchup.
- The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables.
- Magic Johnson has always been HIV-positive.
- Tattoos have always been in style and highly visible.
- Rap music has always been mainstream.
- There has always been a Cartoon Network.
- Their parents could always reach for a Zoloft.
- Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania, and Estonia have always been independent nations.
- Phil Jackson has always been coaching championship basketball.
- Ozzy Osbourne has always been coming back.
- There have always been flat screen TV’s.
- They have never understood the meaning of R.S.V.P.
- Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on.
- They have never been Saved by the Bell.
- American students have always lived anxiously with high-stakes educational testing.
- Official racial classifications in South Africa have always been outlawed.
- Conflict in Northern Ireland has always been slowly winding down.
- Migration of once independent media like radio, TV, videos and compact discs to the computer has never amazed them.
- The American health care system has always been in critical condition.
- McDonald's has always been serving Happy Meals in China.
- Condoms have always been advertised on television.
- Nobody has ever responded to “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
- There has always been blue Jell-O, chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream, and Berry Berry Kix.
- There has always been a computer in the Oval Office.
- They have always been able to read books on an electronic screen.
- Most communities have always had a mega-church.
- And someone has always been asking: “Was Iraq worth a war?”

http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/

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A Connection To Days Gone By

By DT
I am amazed at the power objects have to transport me back in time. I never know what will act as a flux capacitor for me. Last Sunday it was a plastic drink pitcher. At our Lifehouse, people were pouring ice water from a tan, plastic pitcher. I felt tears welling up within me when I saw it. This is a very specific pitcher from the 80's. It has a tan body (I'm sure it came in other colors but tan is very important to this story). The lid is white with a little knob in the middle that you press down to seal it closed.

I saw this pitcher sitting on the refreshment table and for 10 seconds I went back in time to the late 80's, to my house in Denton, Texas.

Growing up, a tan pitcher just like this one could usually be found in my family's refrigerator - full of KOOL AID. Whenever I needed a shot of colored sugar water all I had to do was look for that pitcher.

I'm not sure where the almost tears came from. Maybe it was the reality that my childhood really is gone. Maybe I was reminded that my only connection to my childhood is objects and a few people. I think part of it is a longing for a time when stress and responsibilities were minimal.

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Think Outside The Box

Supernatural

By DT
Since the 1970's, Christianity worldwide has been significantly increasing. What has inspired me about the statistics is that the majority of the people who are becoming followers of Jesus are doing so because they have experienced supernatural events: physical healings, dreams, visitations by angels. In America, the obsession with science and technology has created in us a habit of scepticism, even denial, of the supernatural.

I am guilty of this, too. My first reaction to pretty much everything is to look for some rational, natural explanation. Ivy was born with some really tough food allergies. Because the doctors overlooked her food allergies, she was sick and in extreme discomfort the first year of her life. Many people were praying for Ivy along with us.

And then one day, in preparation for submitting her to painful testing, we had to take her off the special diet. There was no reaction to the food in her system! We didn't do the testing and to this day the allergies are gone. My first thoughts were: she's grown out of it, she just needed to adjust. But regardless of what I think, Ivy was healed.

Why are we so skeptical of the supernatural?

Besides our obsession with science and technology, one of the reasons is the abuse of the supernatural. Many churches have used the supernatural (usually the Holy Spirit) to control, manipulate, and oppress people. Others are so uncomfortable with the supernatural that they never speak about it. Then there is the whole New Age movement that has turned the supernatural into a commodity to be bought and consumed at the expense of our individuality.

God is teaching me that there is more going on in the world than the American Dream. There is more going on than politics and science. Have I limited my interaction with God? Have I turned God into a Safe, American God? I think that God, although unchanging, is wild and unpredictable. Is it possible that that I overlooked or missed out on some things? Yes, I think it is. I am trying to be more open toward the supernatural. No, I'm not buying crystals and incense but I am watching for things that can't be explained. I think we all have stories of when we should have died but didn't, should have failed but didn't, should experienced the same predictable outcome but didn't.

God is at work and most of the time it's not in the way we expect.

China is a great example.

The Chicago Tribune: "Today the government counts 21 million Catholics and Protestants—a 50 percent increase in less than 10 years—though the underground population is far larger. The World Christian Database's estimate of 70 million Christians amounts to a 5 percent share of the population, second only to Buddhism.

At a time when Christianity in Western Europe is dwindling, China's believers are redrawing the world's religious map with a growing community already exceeding all the Christians in Italy. And increasing Christian clout in China has the potential to alter relations with the United States and other nations."

The Washington Times, August 3rd 2005 Millions All Over China Convert To Christianity: "Chinese are embracing Christianity in a social revolution that is spreading through town and countryside to the point where Christians already may outnumber members of the Communist Party of China.

'I think human beings need something at a spiritual level,' said Han Dongfang. 'We don't want to believe we are coming from nowhere, going nowhere.'

As a teenager, he was a passionate Marxist but, as an army recruit, became disillusioned over the luxuries enjoyed by the officer class. He arrived in the United States in 1993 after being released from prison on medical grounds; he had contracted tuberculosis in a Chinese jail and nearly died.

One of the driving forces of Christianity's growth in China has been its association with healing powers, particularly in rural areas where basic health services are lacking.

One woman last month told a gathering of hundreds at Kuanjie, the official Protestant church in Beijing: 'My brother's daughter had a virus, which doctors had never seen before. She was on a ventilator and everyone had lost hope. But I prayed for her, and she recovered. Now her family follows Christ, too.'"

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